As any person who lives outside of their home country will likely tell you, living abroad can drive you insane. In Korea, you tire of constantly being bumped into on the street since no one walks on the right side of the path. You want to gag a little bit when you see people expel giant wads of spit from their mouths just ahead of you on the sidewalk. You would really appreciate it if your school started telling you about big events more than a day ahead of time. I can live with those and other minor cultural differences (most days). However, the way I feel put on display as a non-Korean person is often really grating. When I first arrived here, I was elated to see people smiling and waving at me. I happily played the role of friendly neighborhood waygook, smiling back and exchanging hellos. However, having lived here almost a year, it’s gotten old.
There are times when the random “hellos” I receive from strangers on the street no longer seem friendly, but like people are intentionally and even maliciously pointing out my foreignness. (It’s kind of a dead giveaway if a guy and his cronies start laughing their asses off if I reply with a “hi” in return.) I am quick to forgive a young child’s fascination with a blonde foreigner since I live in a semi-rural area (and am usually making funny faces at cute kids on the street anyway), but to hear echoes of “hello! how are you?” coming from teenagers and adults makes me feel vulnerable, irritated, and quickly reminds me that I will never really belong here. I sometimes respond with a simple “annyeong haseo” just to show that (gasp!) a non-Korean person is capable of pronouncing a basic Korean word.
It goes beyond encounters on the street. Just this Saturday, while having samgyeopsal with Stuart and Brian, a father with two young children dragged his kids over to our table while we were eating dinner so that they could marvel at the fascinating waygookin. A simple “hello” or wave from the kids would have been fine. Instead, as the trio lingered, the father talking about us in Korean the whole time, we sat at the table looking at each other uncomfortably and waiting for them to leave. We didn’t want to be rude and instill a bad view of foreigners, but we were also annoyed to be interrupted without justifiable cause. I left the restaurant feeling like a circus sideshow. The behavior (at least outside of Seoul) of many Korean people towards foreigners baffles me. I don’t live in bumfuck. I’m within 45 minutes of one of the biggest cities in the world. A huge percentage of the people in Maseok work in Seoul. Korea has one of the most educated populaces in the world—they’re not dumb! Yet, their actions often reveal a deep ignorance of how to interact with people unlike themselves. There are literally tens of thousands of foreign ESL teachers in the country at any given time and we aren’t the only foreigners here! At some point, it is incredibly likely that the average Korean will interact with foreigners. After several decades of the government bringing in ESL teachers from around the world, I wish some people would catch on and learn to treat us with the same respect I try to afford them.
Despite this whine, I want to emphasize that most Korean people are incredibly welcoming and kind to me. I have a neighborly relationship with the owner of the Dunkin’ Donuts on the walk to work. He starts making my cappuccino before I even walk in the door. The women at my preferred kimbap joint think it’s hilarious that I order chamchi kimbap every day to take to lunch. Most people, if they notice me at all, don’t hassle me. The ones that do, however, make me feel vulnerable and on display and I wish it would stop. I should also point out that this is my opinion alone; I do not wish to imply that all non-Korean people living in Korea feel this way or have had these experiences.
